Tuesday, March 23, 2010
(Councillor Bob Crotchet) Hello, hello. Welcome everybody. Do settle down. We're all here to witness the opening of the Oak River Patents Office here in St. Raphael. It's a wonderful day for the region.
...mumbles from the crowd...
I understand that it's raining Mrs. Sullivan, I meant wonderful in, well, not in the weather sense.
It's taken us months to, well, just get councillors from all the villages together in one place. Anyway, we were all locked up in a room a weren't allowed to leave until we came to an agreement. The result of the agreement is this - the Patents Office. We can now rest assured that people can live in peace that their inventions will not be stolen. Here to tell you more is newly appointed Patents Officer Mr. Willy Prudhoe.
(Willy Prudhoe) Thank you councillor.
(shout from crowd) GERROFF MY LAND!
(Willy Prudhoe) It's not your land Alderman Harris. We're all very grateful that you discovered this place, but you can't claim all of it.
The patents office is designed to protect your intellectual property and looking around them room I se... hmm. well, maybe not your intellectual property. Anyway, if you invent something, submit it to the Patents Office and we'll keep a record of it. Then if anyone wants to use your design they have to pay you shiny discs, which are now being called `money' or `Simoeleons' as I understand it.
mumble from crowd
No, Mr Bryden, you can't patent your discs. Why? Because we believe that you didn't invent them and anyway a law was passed saying they were unpatentable because they're too useful.
Gosh. You've turned the air blue Mr. Bryden.
Anyway, I'm pleased to announce the first invention to be patented. It was invented by me. I'm calling it the steam engine. Essentially, you heat the water and steam rises, which can do something useful. I'm not entirely sure what yet and I'm sure it can be improved.
Thank you everybody. Have a good day.
Some time later, the steam engine was modified and various inventions started to appear. These were the steam donkey used in logging ...
Image of steam donkey from wikipedia. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution Share Alike 3.0
Image of steam tractor from wikipedia. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution Share Alike 3.0
Written by Dr Philip Younger at 2:27 PM